So things have been going swimmingly well in your latest relationship. You both have the same views regarding the ending of Game of Thrones, you both hate pineapple as a pizza topping and have almost settled on a vacation destination for the summer.
But there’s still a niggling doubt in your head about your relationship. Why haven’t they introduced you to any close friends or family yet? And why have they never posted about you on social media when you know they’re pretty active on all platforms?
If you’ve found yourself wondering the same thing, then you should know that your partner might be ‘pocketing’ you.
What is ‘Pocketing’ in a relationship?
Just like the name sounds, the practice refers to someone hiding you from others when it comes to your relationship. ‘Pocketing’, or ‘Stashing’ is when someone you’re dating hides you from their friends and family and is, unsurprisingly, a very toxic practice.
Your partner has made a conscious decision not to introduce you to their inner circle and it includes real life and on social media.
Why is your partner ‘pocketing’ you?
The best case scenario in this situation is that your partner has some unresolved issue about intimacy or commitment that has led them to unconsciously, or consciously, hide you and your relationship status from the world. But, sadly, in most cases, this is because the partner is either embarrassed by you or is non-monogamous without your knowledge.
Should you bring this up with your partner?
Most definitely, yes! If you’ve been feeling that your partner is consciously hiding you from the world, then you need to communicate this with them. You can start by asking why you haven’t met anyone important in their life yet. Their response can tell you a lot about their reasons for doing so. If they’re evasive and try to change the subject, you need to treat it like a big, glaring red flag and do something about it. If, however, they do not dismiss your concerns and choose to address the issue and be vulnerable about why they might have led you to feel that way, it will be a big step towards the positive direction in your relationship.
Even though it has become a cliche, healthy communication is one of the strongest pillars of a healthy relationship. In case you’ve been feeling ‘stashed’ or ‘pocketed’ in a relationship, it’s best to reach out to your partner. If things still do not feel right to you, consulting a professional counsellor would be a great idea. The key thing to remember is to not ignore your gut instincts when it comes to relationships.
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