Did you know we have different love languages when it comes to relationships? Back in 1992, author Gary Chapman introduced the world to the concept of love languages in his book The Five Love Languages: How To Express Commitment to Your Mate.
Contrary to what you might think, sending each other memes when you’re sitting in the same room is not exactly a love language. According to Chapman, the five love languages include physical touch, quality time, words of affirmation, acts of service, and giving/receiving gifts.
The most misconstrued out of them all is physical touch. Most people immediately assume having physical touch and affection as a love language means you’re only looking for sex. But there’s a lot more to it than just expressing affection through physical intimacy, although that’s a big part of it. So let’s unpack what exactly it means when your love language is physical touch…
What does ‘physical touch’ as a love language mean?
According to Donna Hoffman, host of Dates & Mates podcast, “Physical touch folks give and receive love by being touched or held”. This doesn’t necessarily mean physical touch with your partner, but also with your loved ones like family and friends.
Signs that your love language is physical touch could include your attitude towards PDA. If you’re all for hand-holding or expressing your love in public in a more physical way, it’s a pretty clear sign that you fall in this group.
What are the most common misconceptions about physical touch as a love language?
As we said before, having physical touch as your love language doesn’t always mean you’re DTF. We tend to show love in the manner we wish to be loved and your being touchy-feely with your loved ones is an extension of that.
Another thing that most people get wrong about this is that they assume that anyone who expresses love through touch is a fan of PDA. Just like with any personality categorisation, a love language is not one size fits all. It’s more complex than that and each person is unique in their love expression.
Why do we need to know about love languages in the first place?
Many relationship experts call love languages the secret relationship-building tool that can bring your partner and you a lot closer. These reveal how you show love and also how you receive it as well.
We might harp on and on about how good communication is key to a healthy relationship but the reality is that we tend to forget about it most of the time. Being aware of each other’s love language can help create an understanding that mere words cannot build.
What if your love language is opposite to that of your partner?
So you’re a person who loves to show affection by closely touching your loved ones but your partner is more about acts of service or spending quality time rather than physical touch. Does that mean your relationship is doomed? Not necessarily.
While two people with similar kinds of love language can make for a more compatible match, that’s not always the case. You can make a relationship work if you’re aware of how the other person chooses to express their love.
Once you know that your partner not preferring to have their hands on you at all times is not a sign of them being disinterested in you, you can start appreciating the ways they choose to express love. It could be through thoughtful acts of service or words of affirmation.
Ultimately, it all boils down to whether or not you want to make your relationship work. So don’t sweat the small stuff and keep the communication channels open for a healthier relationship.
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